The Side Girl

I forgot when exactly did i write this but i posted it on my facebook on 25th of March 2016. :

Procrastinating comes in various way. I am fully aware that i still have tons of college works to do. But alas! After months, no, years of having writer's block i am finally able to write again though this may be the most lacking fiction excerpt you ll ever read. Sorry not sorry. I am just too excited i could actually write again.

:pknknk

She was sitting on the cold bench. It was cold with the remnants on last night's thunderstorm and a bit rusty from age. Eyes closed, her arms folded behind her head. Hurts' Stay blaring on her earphones. Seconds tick by, a guy in black knitted sweater flashed behind her closed lids. He had this ugly man bun hairstyle she used to despise (guys with ponytail? Really? Unless you are Ezra Miller dont even think about pulling it off) with an equally ridiculous grin she used to call joker's frown. But that night his bun was as messy as it could be. Or maybe not that messy? She couldnt even remember that well for her eyes were blotched with tears and heavy snots caught her breath painfully. His grin was nowhere to be seen. She just remembered sinking her teeths repeatedly on her palm, trying her best to distract her mind with some physical pain, knowing the worse kind of pain about to form itself in her chest.

"What can i do to make it up to you, Les?" She remembered him whispering mere inches from her face. His voice contained this patronizing tones she loathed the most.

"What can you do to a spoiled broth, dude?" Her voice cracked at the end. Her breath hitched barely finishing her sentence. "You throw it away.." Came her tiny whisper, it should break anyone's heart who could hear it.

"Leslie,.." Here come his notorious way of whispering her name. That voice used to bring her fuzzy tickles and calm her down. Now, it just sliced deeper into her ears, did nothing but fueling the rage in her chest waiting to explode full force.

"To be honest, I am starting to think that she deserves better.." She didnt know why she said that. She hoped it was offensive enough. No, she hoped it hurt so bad. God, never in her life she was ever this mad. This angry at someone. To the point of having wants to inflict pains. With words preferrably for physical abuse she deemed too light. But what comes next turned out to be another thunder struck on her.

"Dude, do you think i dont know that already?" His eyes were sad from unworthiness. Unworthiness that didnt belong to her.

Thats it. She thought. Knowing he loves someone else was one thing, having this knowledge confirmed on her very face was another thing entirely. She didnt even know if that was partly envy or jealousy doing her job anymore. There was nothing else she wanted to do but wailing her heart out loud for God to mend. Yet she held on, mustering her last ounce of will she smiled. "Of course, you do. " And turned around. Faster she walked. Toward where she knew pair of arms would keep her warm . Away from clenched ones of another.

The song ended minutes ago, her earphones did nothing but keeping her ears warm. The smell of after rain dusk filled her nose. She stood up briskly and smirked contently.

"So much for self help, huh.." She chuckled to herself. Very Proudly.

**Artwork's credit goes to its artist