D-Day

Edith heard Vibhav Maniktala howled with laughter from the other side of the hall and glanced across in time to see him holding Darren in a head-lock, rubbing his knuckles on Darren’s scalp. She smiled then turned her full attention back to loathing Talita Damian.

            ‘So I heard you were unemployed,’ she was saying.

            ‘Well I prefer to think of myself as self-employed.’

            ‘As an author?’

            ‘It’s just for a year or two, a Sabbatical of some sort.’

            ‘But you haven’t actually had anything published?’

            ‘Not as yet. Although I have actually been paid a small advance to – ‘

            ‘Hm,’ said Talita skeptically. ‘Rita Darningtyas has had four novels published now.’

            ‘Yes, I’ve been made aware of that. Several times now.’

            ‘And she has four kids. With a twin!’

            ‘Well. There you go.’

            ‘Have you seen my two?’ Not far from where they stood, two huge toddlers in batik dresses were rubbing cake frosting into each other’s faces. ‘DIRA. ARNI. NO BITING.’

            ‘They’re lovely girls.’

            ‘Aren’t they? So have you had any kids yet?’ said Talita as if it was an either/or situation, published books or kids.

            ‘Nope—‘

            ‘Dating anyone?’

            ‘Nope—‘

            ‘No one?’

            ‘Nope—‘

            ‘Someone on the horizon?’

            ‘Nope—‘

            ‘Nevertheless, you look so much better now.’ Talita scanned her up and down like a Mosque Imam thinking of buying a Kurban cattle at a farmhouse. ‘You are actually some of the few people here who’ve lost some weight! I mean you were never particularly fat or anything, just some puppy-fat around the hip and it’s fallen off you!’

            Edith felt her grip tightened around her wine glass. ‘Well it’s good to know the last decade hasn’t been wasted.’

            ‘And you used to have this really strong Kalimantan accent, but now you just talk like everybody else.’

            ‘Do I?’ Edith said, shocked. Or pissed. Or both.  ‘Well that’s a shame. I didn’t lose it on purpose’

            ‘To be honest I always thought you were putting it on. You know – pretension—‘

            ‘What?’

            ‘Your accent. You know – Iya kah! Iya nah! Coal miners this, palm oil that, Marsinah yada yada yada! I thought you were always rubbing it on everyone’s faces a little. But now you are talking normally again!’

            Edith was always jealous of those people who spoke their minds freely, who said what they felt without regards to social nicety. She had never been one of those people, but even then she could feel an F-sound forming on her bottom lip.

            ‘….and you were always so angry too.. about everything all the time.’

            ‘Oh, I still get angry, Talita..’

            ‘Oh my God, is that Darren Ohai?’ Talita was speaking in whisper now. ‘Did you know we had a thing once?’

            ‘Oh yes you told me. Multiple times.’

            ‘He still looks amazing doesn’t he?’ and she whispered swooningly. ‘How come you two never got together?’

            ‘Oh I don’t know, my accent, my hip?...’

            ‘You weren’t that bad. Hey have you seen his girlfriend? Isn’t she gorgeous? Don’t you think she’s just beautiful?’ Talita turned around for a reply to see that Edith had already gone.

**

Wine glasses were being clinked with spoon. It was time for the speeches. As the custom demanded, the Chief Bridesmaid was chirpy and half drunk, the Best Man was definitely drunk and forgot to mention the Bride while the Father of the Bride was coarse and his voice choked suppressing his tears, either that or the alcohol-induced hiccups. Edith felt her energy draining out of her with each swig of red wine and she began weighing on her hotel room up at the main house. The four poster bed, the freshly laundered linen bed sheet, and clean white dressing gown. There would be one of those thermostatic, walk-in showers that people crazy about too. As if to help her make up her mind, the band were tuning up now, the guitarist was strumming the intro to Ed Sheeran’s Perfect and Edith decided that that was her last straw and called it a day. There were only so much overplayed pop tunes she could subject her ears to. Ages ago when she and the Bride were roommates, she had purposefully bought herself a nice pair of fancy headphones for a reason. Wrapping her slice of wedding cake in a tissue paper, she was planning to head up to her room and sleep the wedding off.

            ‘Excuse me Miss, don’t I know you from somewhere?’ A voice behind her, a warm hand on her shoulder. Darren was hunching over by her side, grinning hazily, a bottle of Prosecco in his hand.

            Edith held out her glass. ‘You might, I suppose.’

            With a squeak of awww the band began to play and all attention were focused on the dance floor where newly officiated Mr. and Mrs. Gailor waltzing to their special song. Twirling and swaying rheumaticallly at the hips, rigid necks held aloft.

            ‘Good Lord. When did we all start dancing like old people?’

            ‘Hey speak for yourself,’ said Darren, settling on a chair beside her.

            ‘Well can you dance?’

            ‘You don’t remember?’

            Edith shook her head. ‘I don’t mean on a dining table at a frat party with your shirt off, I mean proper dancing.’

            ‘Course I can.’ He held up his palm. ‘Want me to prove it?’

            ‘Maybe later.’ They were having to shout now as the music changed to the chorus of Bruno Mars’ Marry You. Darren pulled at her hand and stood. ‘Lets go somewhere. Just you and me.’

            ‘Where?’

            ‘No idea. Apparently there’s a lake somewhere around here.’

            ‘A lake?’ A second later she stood. ‘Well why didn’t you say?’

**

They brought along two glasses and discreetly walked out of the hall entrance into the night. It was a hot summer night, mid July, with bats swooping overhead as they walked side by side. Arms were occasionally touching as they walked through the orchid garden further into the summer air.

            ‘So tell me Darren how are you holding up?’ She asked as they could finally see the gleaming body of water moving towards them.  ‘Watching an ex lover in the altar with another man.’

            ‘Daria Pearce’s not an ex lover.’

            ‘Oh, Darren…’ Edith chuckled. ‘When are you gonna start giving me some credits?’

            ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

            ‘Hm that must have been what.. eight years ago? let me see.. December 2019, that flat in Deresan. The one that perpetually smelt of fried mackerel’

            Darren cringed. ‘How do you know about these things?’

            ‘Well where do I start… when I was leaving the apartment to go to Mirota, you were massaging each other’s shoulder with my best tea tree oil and when I got back she was weeping and there were oil footprints all over my best carpet and the sofa and half up the wall too. I cautiously examined the forensic evidence and came to the conclusion that you had banged my flatmate. And also you left your birth control device at the top of the kitchen bin, so that was nice of you thank you very much.’

            ‘Did I? Sorry about that.’

            ‘Yeah and plus she told me.’

            ‘She did?’ He gasped at the betrayal. ‘That was meant to be our little secret.’

            They had arrived at what looks like an artificial reservoir with neatly trimmed row of firs surrounding it. ‘Right,’ Edith put her hands on her hip and exhaled. ‘Shall we walk around it?’

            ‘Sure,’ Darren nodded. Some of the trees were lit at ground level with different colored lights and the inky night had that thick summer smell, almost heady from the warm leaves.

            ‘Where’s Jasmine?’Jasmine is Darren’s latest gorgeous, beautiful girlfriend.

            ‘Jasmine’s alright, she is being Vibhaved.’ Vibhav was Darren’s old college roommate. ‘He’s being the life of the party and all, the charismatic Indian millionaire. I thought I’d leave them to it since I really can’t compete with him. Not anymore. It’s exhausting.’

            ‘He is doing very well you know.’

            ‘So everyone tells me.’

            ‘Coffee shops, apparently.’

            ‘I know. Thousands of them. He just offered me a job.’

            ‘Coffee beans farmer?’

            ‘Don’t know yet. He wants to talk to me about prospects.’ Darren shrugged. ‘Coffee is the new rice he said, whatever that means.’

            ‘But what about Dawn with Darren?’

            ‘Ah,’ Darren laughed and scratched the back of his neck. ‘You’ve listened to my podcast, then?’

            ‘Never missed an episode. You know me, there’s nothing I like more in the early hours of the morning than listening to bunch of intoxicated celebrities  babbling on and on about their sex life. My favorite bit is when you say things like “mood”—‘

            ‘Hey they make me say that stuff.’

             ‘ “mood” and “on fleek”. “Wow you are such a mood, bro—“ ‘

            ‘I think I get away with it.’

            ‘Nah Bud, not really.’

            ‘Well you know how life is; even the grittiest journalist gotta eat.  Wanna sit down? Over there.’ They were reaching a wooden deck on the edge of the lake now.

            ‘Sure.’ Edith shrugged. They sat on the cool deck and bumped shoulders. ‘Everyone is a sell-out at some point anyway. At least you dodged banking.’

            They both grimaced at the thought. Mouthy and heedless Darren hunched over crunching numbers. ‘Yeah imagine this pretty face and personality, this quick wit and brilliant mind of mine… everything went to waste.’

            ‘You can barely count to ten, Darren. Don’t flatter yourself. I should have said at least the banking industry dodged you.’ Laughed Edith.

            ‘Yeah or life would have worn me out long ago instead of starting just now.’ He scoffed and they both laughed. ‘How’s the writing going? You were always so good at words. Written ones at least.’ Darren was taking off his shoes now while Edith was unsure if she could catch a cold from dipping her feet into the water.

            ‘Oh its fine when I do it. Most of the time I just sit around eating sweet martabak.’ She finally caved and taking off her block heels, telling herself that the water wasn’t that cold.

            ‘Alya Darsono –‘ Edith’s editor as well as her old college friend ‘--said  they gave you an advance.’

            ‘Yeah a bit of cash enough to last ‘til New Year. Then we’ll see. Back to teaching full-time perhaps’

            ‘And what’s it about? This book.’

            ‘I don’t know yet.’

            ‘it’s about me, isn’t it?’ He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. Those familiar glints of mischief on his brown eyes were back now.  If Edith didn’t know any better, those eyes would have made her stomach churns with glee the way it had done years ago.  Before there was too much water under their bridge. Before they had grown out of each other like adults who’ve grown out of their ripped jeans. The old flame that never really died coz it never had the chance to grow to begin with. 

            ‘Yes, Darren, it’s a whole thick volume entirely about you. It’s called “Darren Darren Darren” ‘ Edith slapped her thigh, totally missing the giant mosquito by nanosecond.

             ‘Well calling it “Daring Darren” would have cut it, but if you insist on 3 Darrens I am touched.’ Darren heard Edith eww-ing loudly in response. ‘Sorry was that too corny? Even for me?’

            Edith rolled her eyes with a smile. ‘Especially for you.’ She splashed her feet in the warm water. ‘Well.. actually it’s just a book for them youngsters. Adulting newbies you know. About boys, relationship, early career, anxiety, that kind of thing. It’s about a school play, that production of Frozen I did all those years ago. Female rage for the twentysomethings. A comedy.‘

            ‘Well you definitely look very well on it.’

            ‘Do I?’

            ‘Some people look better at wedding slash 10 years college reunion, some people look worse. You are definitely looking better’

            ‘Talita Damian tells me I’ve finally got rid of my puppy fat’

            ‘She’s just jealous that’s all. You look great, Ed.’

            ‘Thanks. Do you want me to say you look better too?’

            ‘Sure if you think you can pull it off.’

            ‘Well you do.’ Edith grabbed the bottle from his grip and poured two inches into her glass. ‘Better than during your youtuber slash celebgram years anyway. When you were prankin-it-up or whatever it was you were doing.’ They stayed a little while in silence, until Edith spoke again. ‘I was worried about you.’

            ‘Were you?’

            ‘We all were.’

            ‘Just a phase. Everyone’s got to have a phase like that. Get a bit on the wild side’

            ‘They do? Well I haven’t. Hey I hope you’ve stopped wearing that stupid chest fanny pack too’

            ‘I haven’t worn a sling bag for years’

            ‘Glad to hear it. We were thinking about enacting an intervention.’

            ‘God, I almost forgot….’ Darren reached into his trousers pocket, and very carefully removed a folded napkin and held out two crumpled cigarettes.

            ‘From Vibh,’ he whispered, giddy. ‘Want one?’

            ‘No, thank you. Haven’t touched one for years.’

            ‘Well done you. I’ve quit too, officially. But I feel safe here, she cant find me here…’ He lit one of the cigarettes, his hand a bit shaking. Both the drinks and the solitude had lifted their mood. They were feeling nostalgic and sentimental now, exactly how two drifted bestfriends should be at a wedding and they smiled at each other through the smoke.

            Edith laughed and turned to face the water. ‘ So, how are you these days?’

            ‘I am fine. A little more sensible.’

            ‘Sex in restroom cubicle lose its enthralling appeal?’

            He laughed and examined the tip of the cigarette. ‘I just had to get something out of my system that’s all. Vibhav said we’re the ”Juul Generation” ‘

            ‘God that’s depressing.’ Edith sniffed. ‘A whole generation defined by a brand of cigs. I’d sort of hoped for more.’ She smiled and nudged his elbow with hers. ‘So is it all out now? Whatever it was you needed getting out?’

            ‘Think so, most of it.’

            ‘Because of true love’s kiss?’

            ‘Partly. Also I’m thirty five now. At thirty five you’ve run out of excuses to fuck up. You can’t say I am only twenty two I am only twenty nine.’ He sipped from his glass. ‘Its like everyone has principal dilemma in their life and mine was can you be in an exclusive, loving, mature, committed, adult relationship and still get invited to orgies?’

            ‘And what’s the answer? Can you?’ She asked somberly.

            ‘No. The answer’s no you can’t. Once you’ve figured that part out, everything else get a little simpler.’

            ‘Its true, a threesome won’t cuddle you or keep you warm at night.’

            ‘A threesome won’t care for you when you are old and senile.’ He took another sip. ‘Anyway it’s not like I was getting invited to any to begin with, just running around, screwing things up.  Screwed up my career, screwed up with Granny—‘

            ‘—well that’s not true—‘

            ‘—screwed up all my friendships.’ He leant against her shoulders for emphasize. ‘ I just thought it’s time to get my life in order for once. And now I’ve met Jasmine, and she’s great. She keeps me prim and proper. And she’s turned things around for me too. I am off booze and the drugs and not smoking.’ She glanced at the cigarette on his mouth, then the glass in his hand. ‘Special occasion.’ He winked.

            ‘So in the end you found true love.’ She filled her glass.

            ‘Yeah something like that. How about you?’

            ‘Oh I’m fine.’ As a distraction she stood up and reached for her shoes. ‘Lets keep walking around the lake shall we?’

            ‘Right.’ Sighing, Darren hauled himself to his feet. ‘Do you still see Hakim?’

            ‘Not for years now.’

            ‘And no one else on the horizon?’

            ‘Don’t you start Darren.’

            ‘What?’

            ‘Sympathy for the single. I am truly content thank you very much.’ She was starting to speak with passion now. ‘it’s like once you decided not to worry about that dating stuff anymore, you are free to get on with real life. I’ve got my work and I really love it. I think I’ve got one more year to really make a go of it. The money’s not much but I am free.’ She paused for a moment. ‘Swimming! I swim a lot. Mile after mile I swim and swim and swim. God I fucking hate swimming.’

            ‘You know I feel the same. About not having to date anymore, not swimming. Since I’ve been with Jasmine , it’s like I’ve freed up this huge amount of energy and time and mental space’

            ‘And what do you do with it? The mental space I mean..’

            ‘Play Dota mostly.’

            Edith laughed and walked a little further in silence, worrying that she was coming across as less empowered and independent than she had intended. ‘And anyway it’s not like I am totally boring and loveless you know. I have my moments. I had this thing with a guy called James who called himself an entrepreneur but he was really just a penny-pinching control freak.’

            ‘What happened to James?’

            ‘Just fizzled out. Just as well. I was convinced that he was always staring at my wallet. Kept nagging me to invest in this “upcoming, hot stocks”. Going on a date was like going for a pyramid scheme conference. Too much pressure. And before that there was Mr Adiputra.’ She shuddered at the thought of her affair with her former boss. A middle aged, married Principal of the High school she taught at.  At least no children were involved, she thought to calm herself.

            ‘Who was Mr Adiputra?’

            ‘Another time. Anyway if I ever get desperate, there’s always your offer to fall back on.’

            Darren stopped walking. ‘What offer?’

            ‘Do you remember you used to say if I was still single when I got to fifty you’d marry me?’

            ‘I said that?’ He winced. ‘A bit patronizing.’

            ‘I thought so too at the time. But no worries, I don’t think it’s legally binding or anything. I won’t hold you out to it. Besides, I still got fifteen years to go. Plenty of time…that if the back pain hasn’t killed me yet by then.’ She began walking again while Darren stood still.

            ‘I am afraid I am gonna have to sort of withdraw the offer, Ed.’

            She stopped and turned around. ‘Oh really? Why’s that?’ She asked but part of her had the answer already.

            ‘I am engaged. In fact that’s why I dragged you in here. I wanted to invite you to the wedding in person—‘

            ‘Oh Darren. That’s amazing! Congratulation!’ and she went to hug him. For a moment they stood like that with his chin on top of her head.

            ‘You are pleased?’

            ‘Pleased? I’m shattered! But really, seriously, it’s wonderful news.’

            ‘You think so? Its on August 20^th so—‘

            ‘Hold on, that’s only weeks from now..’ She pulled out from their hug.

            ‘Yeah they are usually years in the making but I guess ours is what they call a shotgun wedding…’and he kept watching her face, that pretty face to see how it might change when he told her.

            Edith’s brows furrowed, not quiet there yet.

            ‘Two hundred guests. With traditional ceremony.’

            ‘You mean?...’

            ‘Jasmine’s sort of pregnant. Well not sort of. She is. Pregnant. With an actual baby.’

            ‘Oh Darren!’ Once again her face was against his chest. ‘Do you know the father? I am kidding! Congratulations! God aren’t you supposed to drop your bombs gradually? Not just drop them all at once?’ She held his face in both hands, looked at it. ‘You are going to be a father.’

            ‘I know! Fuck me! A father!’

            ‘Is that even allowed? Are they gonna let you?’

            ‘Apparently yeah..’

            ‘Don’t suppose you still have that cigarette, have you?’ He reached into his pocket for her. ‘Hows Jasmine about it?’

            ‘She is happy about it! I mean she worries that it’ll make her look fat.’ He lit her cigarette.  ‘ .. but she wants to get on with it. Get married, have kids, make a start. She doesn’t wanna end up mid thirties and all alone—‘

            ‘Like ME!!!’

            ‘Exactly!’ He took her hands quickly. ‘That’s not what I meant of course.’

            ‘I know I am kidding, Darren. Congratulation.’ She hugged him once again, her arms high around his neck this time.

            ‘So you’ll come then? To my wedding?’

            ‘Of course I will! I can’t promise not to sneak home some pastries though.’

            ‘As a matter of fact I was gonna ask you a favor..’

            ‘Please Darren please don’t ask me to be your Best Man.’

            ‘It’s not that. Its just I have been trying to write speech for ages, I was wondering if you could give me a hand?’

            ‘No way!’ Laughed Edith.

            ‘Why not?’

            ‘I just think it will carry a less emotional weight. Just write honestly according to your feelings.’

            ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea. Anyway I don’t want you to write the whole thing. I just want you to give it a polish that’s all.’

            ‘Sorry, bud. You are on your own there.’ They continued to walk in silence. Nearby the band had segued into David Bowie’s Space Oddity to cheers from the audience. Finally, some taste, Edith thought. ‘You know what, I thought we would have hover cars and holiday on Mars by now. Now it’s here and I am still driving a bloody Volvo. Nothing’s changed’

            ‘Except I’m a family man now.’

            ‘A family man! Good Lord! Aren’t you scared?’

            ‘Scared shitless. But sometimes when you look at some of the idiots who manage to raise kids, I keep telling myself if Talita Damian can do it, how hard can it be?’

            ‘You can’t take babies to nightclubs you know. They get judgy about that kinda thing.’

            ‘it’s allright. I am gonna learn to love staying in.’

            ‘But you are happy?’

            ‘Yeah I think I am? Are you?’

            ‘Ish. I am happyish.’

            ‘Well, happysih isn’t so bad.’

            ‘It’s the most we can hope for.’ They were almost nearing the main wedding hall now, the smell of the familiar orchid garden was getting stronger. She suddenly felt a startling pang of sadness so she stopped for a moment and took both of Darren’s hands into hers.

            ‘Can I say something? Before we get back to the party?’

            ‘Go on,’

            ‘I am a little drunk.’

            ‘That’s okay. So am I.’

            ‘Just… I missed you, you know.’

            ‘I missed you too.’

            ‘But so, so ,so much Darren. There were millions of things I wanted to talk to you about, and you weren’t there—‘

            ‘Same here.’

            ‘And I feel a bit guilty. Sort of. For cutting you off like that.’

            ‘Did you? I couldn’t blame you. There were times when I was being a little..obnoxious.’

            ‘More than a little, you were fucking awful—‘

            ‘I know—‘

            ‘Stuck-up, insufferable, and boring actually—‘

            ‘Yeah, you have made that point—‘

            ‘But even then I should have stayed around a bit longer, what with your grannie and everything—‘

            ‘That’s no excuse though...’

            ‘Well no it's not, but still I should have tried harder to get in touch. You are meant to stick by your friends aren’t you? Riding out the hurricanes together..’

            ‘I don’t blame you, Ed. I always praised myself for being so self-assured I didn’t know I was hurting everyone around me. Anyway you gotta give it to life for turning our strengths into weaknesses—‘

            ‘But even so—' To her embarrassment, she felt tears streaming down her cheeks.

            ‘Hey, hey, what’s up Ed?’

            ‘Sorry, drank too much is all..’

            ‘Come here..’ He put his hands around her, his face against the bare skin of her neck, smelling shampoo and lavender and damp silk, and she breathed into his neck, his sweat, his aftershave, and alcohol, the smell of his suit, tobacco, sandalwood, and they stood like that for a while until she caught her breath and spoke.

            ‘I tell you what it is. It’s… when I didn’t see you, I thought about you everyday, I mean like every single day in some way or another—‘

            ‘Same here—‘

            ‘Even if it was just “I wish Darren could see this meme” or “where’s Darren now?” or “Jesus, that Darren what an idiot”. You know what I mean. And seeing you today well I’d thought I got you back—my bestfriend. And now all this, the wedding, the baby—I am so so happy for you, Darren. But it feels like I have lost you again..’

            ‘Lost—how?’

            ‘You know what happens, you start a family, your responsibilities change, you lose touch with people—‘

            ‘Not necessarily—‘

            ‘No really. I see it happens all the time, I know it. You will have different priorities. You will have all these new friends, young parents who attend the same pre natal classes, who will have babies too and understand, or you will be too exhausted to—‘

            ‘We are actually planning to get one of those low maintenance baby you know. Just leave them be in a room. With a little stove and canned food.’ He could feel her laughter against his chest, and at that moment he thought there was no better feeling than making Edith Daly laugh. ‘It won’t be that bad, I promise.’

            ‘Do you?’

            ‘Totally.’

            She pulled away to look at him. ‘You swear? No more disappearing?’

            ‘I won’t if you won’t.’

            With mouth tightly shut, their lips touched now, both of them taken aback. The moment lingered, a kind of exhilarating confusion.

            ‘What time is it?’ Edith twisted her face away in panic.

            ‘Almost midnight..’ Darren pulled his sleeve back over his watch.

            ‘Well, we should go back.’

            They walked on in silence. Uncertain about what had just happened and what would happen next. One more turning brought them back once again to the main hall entrance, back to the party.

**

*** This bit is HEAVILY inspired by David Nicholls' One Day. The book. Not the movie. Although i am not saying the movie is bad, it kinda reduces the plot to a mere love story instead of the richness of glorious fear and excitement throughout the course of growing older. But then again what do i know about movies right? (or growing older for that matter!) So go watch and read for yourself and don't listen to me.