Bowery

Its your birthday today.  I was riding my motorbike when I looked up to the sky this morning. The sky looked exceptionally clear and bright for a December in Jogja, especially compared to the rainstorm yesterday. I have been thinking a lot about you lately. I mean I have always been thinking about you, you practically never leave the back of my mind, but these days the thoughts are even more wound-up than ever before. I have been having more breakdowns this week and today I finally worked out again.   I remember when I was in my last year of middle school; I was on the verge of panic attack before the national exam. You told me to take a deep breath and look up to the sky. To see how vast the sky is, how grand our Lord is, so that I will feel safe knowing that whatever hurdles come my way, my Lord is a great One way more than capable to get me through it. I never forget that. You would have been 29 today. Lord took you when you were my age now. You were also in c...

artwork belongs to Gabriel Garbow “Have you moved on from me?” He asked carefully. His eyes were trying to search for whatever clues in mine. “Well..” I cleared my throat. “I still masturbate about you if that’s what you mean..” I laughed nervously. “Like a lot..” I continued, still trying my hardest to lighten the mood. I hate this. I hate where this conversation was going. I hate the emotion that was starting to bubble up inside my chest, threatening to break free from whatever cage i have put them in. "You know it very well that's not what i meant, Liam.." His eyebrows furrowed, almost apologetic, almost begging. "But its true!" I insisted. "I think about you when i masturbate. I think about you when i'm turned on. I think about you when i am about to cum. Gosh, Darren i even think about you when i am hooking up. Like every.single.fucking.time! Its starting to annoy the shit out of me!" I started laughing hysterically. "...

artwork belongs to Jasper Behrends ::You are the closest thing I have:: Liam crosses and uncrosses his legs for the umpteenth time. His back wet against the bar stool he was sitting on. He is sweating. His mind is boiling. His thoughts are racing. His fists curled tightly into ball. He tries hard to hold on to his table. He tries hard not to jump out of his stool, run to a particular redhead and slaps her hard with the back of his palm. He tries not to imagine how satisfied he would be when he could feel the sting on his palm and realizing the other flesh is even more hurt than his. He tries to contain his wrath by breathing through his mouth, slowly, just like what his granny taught him on his mom’s funeral when he was six. As expected, it works well for him. He can finally calm down a little, at least his shoulders stop shaking now. “Are you fucking joking right now?” He lowered his eyes and glared at me. His anger was crystal clear on his dark coal eyes. “Do you mea...

Artwork belongs to its owner CHAPTER 1 My fingers hurt. I knew i shouldnt clutch onto my cup too tight. My knuckles turn white. The last thing i want to do is breaking it to pieces and spill my tea everywhere. But my chest hurt and my mind is in great ditress. If only i could vanish the sight i am looking at right now. Every aspect, no, every tiny facet of it.   Those dark and sturdy arms folded on the table, other fair girlish fingers knocking constantly on their table, and two cups of coffee and plate put between them. Even the sun light mirrorred on their eyes, or the cookies crumbs scattered on the male’s black trousers. I want it all to just disappeared and wiped out of my sight, my mind if possible. I dont know what they’re talking about right now. Poor me i wasnt born with the ability of lip-reading which i desperetaely want to possess at the moment. I cant even guess what they feel. Those two incredibly good-looking people over there, sitting by the window. That...

                             Despite the initial doubt and disdain by many, democracy has persisted throughout history and now known across the world as the only legitimate, even imaginable, form of political society. [1] With the recent transition to democracy, from what is known as the Third Wave [2] after extended era of dictatorship to the emerging democratization as a result of the Arab Spring, there is no doubt that democracy is currently on its world historical peak. Its universal appeal makes it glorified as the ultimate solution of many social problems like unequal distribution of wealth, violent conflicts, and even democratization is often used as the justification of military intervention to topple down evil authoritarian regimes across the globes.             In spite of this, democracy also finds itself ha...

i dont wanna die i just want to not exist does that make sense? for the earth to swallow me whole to erase my past and present hole to retract my future in a sheathed glove i am just so tired of keep falling apart killing myself would be a huge sin ive known that how could i not? when every minute spent in His house was filled with flying warning about how ill be burning if i ever choose to act upon this feeling be it the wanting and loving i felt for him or her to the desire of self-annihilating You wanna know the most unfair thing? is that i never asked to be born into this sinning, into this empty longing. then why the fuck am i the one suffering? God, help me getting rid of this fear of living. Yogyakarta, 12th of May 2018 13.13 **Pic isnt mine. Pic is of Billie Eilish tho i wish she is mine. Super talented artist. Go check out her songs!

I was a dreamer before I was a sinner, Woe is me The last time that you touched me I've lost the poet in me I no longer cry I no longer bask in joy I no longer feel I've grown a thinker in me She baths in logic She dances with consequences But she misses music, She needs words to speak She wants art to reek Yogyakarta, 17th of March 2018 ** Good Morning World  is a painting by Natalia Baykalova which was uploaded on November 23rd, 2012.